Stupid, fu#king NFL

Will Smith, Charles Grant and Deuce McAllister have been suspended for the remainder of the season for taking this.

If they were placing their careers in the hands of this stuff, I think they deserve to be suspended. I wouldn't trust any of the claims made by this product for any reason. Drink coffee mixed with cranberry juice or re-watch the end of Hoosiers if you want to piss a lot. According to my quick calculations from information found online, Deuce will lose $1.7 million, Charles $1.04 million and Will about $750k as a result of their urine analyses. Tom Benson will get to turn about $3 million from red to black and the team of Loomis/Peyton will get an excuse for not making the playoffs, ensuring an early start to talks of what free agents we aren't going to go after this off-season and whether Shockey is a boost or bane for this team.

Get ready for some boring listening and reading material Saints fans. If it weren't official already, it is now. I've ebayed the remainder of my Saints tickets and am concentrating on the contending sports team that plays their games in this town.

Bill Simmons...

Although two of their wins have come against the struggling OKC Thunder, The Hornets are putting together a solid win streak after defeating The Nuggets on the road last night. Watching Chris Andersen go berserk on both sides of the ball when he first came into the game made me wish he was still wearing the turquoise and gold. At the very least, his shifty-eyed, slouched and tatooed appearance could offset Hilton Armstrong's tweedy inpertinance a bit. But, for a guy trying to stay clean, the clean air and streets of Denver are probably a sight less tempting than New Orleans'. Keep it up, Chris. A lot of us saw right through your Mother's claims in that ESPN article.
And, speaking of ESPN...the mouth of the Northeast, Boston sports' answer to our own Chris Rose, the sage of smug, simplistic summation, Bill Simmons has planted a small seed of dissention among the ranks of our NBA franchise in his weekly column. I read it a couple of days ago, but ESPN has gone to plastering the story on their NBA homepage today. Undoubtedly, each member of the team has seen it by now. He suggests that The Hornets players are unhappy with and may eventually revolt against coach Byron Scott, causing an implosion of the team he had once so graciously endorsed as a finals contender. Here's a quick snippet from the column:

"They seemed a little detached, surprising since they have so many character guys on the team: Chris Paul, Tyson Chandler, David West, James Posey. Really, their only chemistry wild card is Mike James and he barely plays. I mistakenly believed it would be one of those lovefest teams that players josh around during the shootarounds before each half and hug each other too much. Nope. Midway through the second quarter, I asked my friend Tollin, "Are we sure the Hornets like their coach?" After all, the Nets practically revolted against Byron Scott four years ago. So there is a precedent."

The Coach Scott I've grown to know through observation in the last couple seasons of attending games has a mile-wide grin when things are going well and does the Souldja Boy motorcyle dance thing with his wrists during game breaks. He's stern and looks like a black R. Lee Ermey when things are going poorly, and the team was struggling a bit when Simmons made his observation. I've only been to forty games or so since the beginning of last year, and Simmons did sit behind the bench during one Clippers game this year, so he probably has it more right than I do. No one, Simmons included, gave a darn about the NBA team in New Orleans until they made the playoffs last year. His basketball columns either barely touched on our team, or ignored them all together, even late in the season. But now, he chimes in with this.

I was fine with the likes of Simmons neglecting us last year, and would be fine with it again. Coach Scott and the players made quite a splash though, and I doubt that is an option. Still, we do have a team of solid personalities. No matter what Allison Korn says about Chris Paul, he is a class player, through and through. He runs the team like a head coach, from the point, so I imagine a bit of contention between he and Scott is inevitable, but I think the Hornets are far from implosion. I don't expect The Sports Guy to write anything flattering about a b-ball team that doesn't wear green, but let's hope the fellas can ignore the like of Simmons and keep their heads on straight to continue competing in The Wild West.

The Deuuuuuuuuce is Leuce One More Time

I could not have been any happier then watching Deuce get his Saint's record setting 54th touchdown last night. I get a little misty just thinking about it actually.  No matter how the suspension thing plays out I know he is a class act and has done our city proud! 

Maiden Voyage

I'm an amateur. The name of this blog sprang from a random conversation I had with two, dear friends who will hopefully be contributing to this cyber-flouro-carbon emission into the already polluted blogosphere. It's to be about all things New Orleans professional sport. And as the posterior end of the title would indicate, some unrelated thoughts and "thangs" from the junk drawer. To start things...er...thangs off. Wait, no. This is about the sports teams, so it can be called things...anyway. To start things off, here is a completely unsolicited and random perspective on the nature of sports fandom.

It's not particular to New Orleans. Growing up in range of Chicago AM radio, I heard much worse than the yats and who-dat's that Bobby Hebert and others have to fend off (and occasionally shut-up) on WWL's various Saints programs. We truly are lucky to have particularly gracious fanatic followers of football in this fair city. Even though we may get carried away at times, I think it's meaningful to note that I could go to Monday night's game dressed like Cher and still get the same high five from the stranger next to me that Archie Manning would receive if he were in Sec. 630 too.

But, the armchair headcoaches, GM's and quarterbacks who continue to rant in bars and at gatherings, or call up radio shows, week after week, month after month, and year after year, to hash over the same tired theories they've cultured in their post high-school, pre-retirement minds concerning the way Saints football by God, ought to be played can just give it a rest for a while. Really, we all know Reggie Bush can't run the ball up the middle. We know Jason David is bad at playing cornerback. It bothers us as much as it does you. Having the ball on the 1 yd. line, running it up the middle three times, then kicking a field goal, is quite a disappointment. Each of these are valid complaints against the way the Saints team plays football. But. They are not original. For once I would like to hear something like this on WWL's post-game report:

Bobby: Hey there Saints fans and welcome to another edition of "The Point After", live from Deanie's Seafood in the Quarter. Well, it was another exciting night of football in the Louisiana Superdome as the New Orleans Saints defeated the Green Bay Packers 34-20. Led by more, MVP-like numbers from quarterback Drew Brees, the Saints took a first quarter lead off a 74-yard screen pass to Reggie Bush and never looked back. The Packers trimmed the lead to seven, early in the fourth quarter, but New Orleans did a textbook job of running out the clock, holding the ball for over 11 minutes in the final period. Brees finished up the night 31-32 passing with 401 yds, 3 TD's and no interceptions. Reggie Bush tallied over 200 total yds. of offense on the night and Duece McAllister logged 80 yds. on 15 carries w/1 TD, to a chorus of "Dueeceeee", every time he touched the ball, that has carried over here into the French Quarter. (chants of duueeecceee can be heard in the crowd) We've got a lot of game to go over, but first I want to open up the phone lines. We've got our first caller, it's Steve in Metairie. Steve, thanks for calling WWL, what did you think of the game?

Steve: Well Bobby, I'd just like to say I thought the Saints played very well tonight.

(about three seconds of dead air)

Bobby: Steve are you still with us?

Steve: Yeah Bobby, I'm still here.

(more silence)

Bobby: Alright, what do you think they did right tonight? I mean, the Saints have been struggling as of late, and to show up like this against a conference opponent has to just be a huge boost for this team trying to make the playoffs, late in the season.

Steve: You know, I'm just not so concerned about who did what right and who messed up. That's really a job for the coaches. I'm just pleased that they were able to come away with a win. I don't get to spend a lot of time with my kids, and I was able to take my son to the game this evening. He really had a good time and I don't think he would have, had we lost.

Bobby: Alright Steve, thanks for calling. Next on the line we have Marshall, from New Orleans. Marshall, you're on WWL.

Marshall: Yes, good evening. First off I'd like to say thank you to all those who fans who came out to the Dome tonight to cheer on the team I've followed since I was born. My father helped build the SuperDome and its always a delight to sit inside that building w/70,000 other people who all love The Saints as much as I do. Tonight's game was great for a lot of reasons. It let our MVP-contending quarterback play in front of a prime-time audience and showed a viewing-nation that thinks much of this city is still partially under water that we actually live in a breathing and thriving metropolis. I'm always so pleased to be able to attend the games, but it's especially nice on Monday Night.

Bobby: OK, Marshall. What kind of message do you think this victory sends to the rest of the division. I mean, you've got Carolina and Tampa Bay, each at 8-3 and Atlanta at 7-4. The Saints are 6-5 after tonite and have to play each of these teams to round out the schedule. What does this team need to improve upon to be a playoff contender?

Marshall: I don't know. I mean, I could give my two cents on the issue, offer up advice about what I think the coaches and players should do out there. But, do you think they're really listening to this show? I don't. If anyone is, its fans like me, or lazy sports writers looking to steal ideas for their own columns. I'd rather not foul up the air with any negativity or second guessing. I'm going to drink the rest of this beer and go to sleep a happy man.

Bobby: Thanks for calling Marshall and thanks for tuning in Saints fans. Right now please keep your dial locked into the big-870 for these commercial messages....

OK...that's not going to happen. And I'm not advocating that NPR begin weekly NFL coverage. I'm just sayin', a bit more of this and a bit less of that would keep fans' collective blood pressure down and help everyone to remember how fortunate we are to have such a team in our city. Thanks for reading and here's to more Saints N Thangs posts coming soon!